Erin Andrews Is A Very Serious Journalist & Deserves Respect

I deserve to be taken seriously as a journalist, dammit.

Erin Andrews August 24th Twitterberry

Kim Kardashian & Reggie Bush Call It Quits: Will The Tush Now Pitch For The Dodgers?

Now I have time to make my dreams come true & pitch for the Dodgers. I'm sure nobody will mind the red pumps.

Kim Kardashian 5:12 PM July 27th

Joe Montana & John Elway Have Some Advice For Brett Favre

I don't care what Joe Montana says about my situation. I'm still conflicted & everybody is just going to have to wait until I make up my mind.

Brett Favre 10:18 PM July 26th

Ben Roethlisberger Responds to Assault Allegations

Tweet Of The Day

I did not have sexual relations with that woman...Ms. McNulty. Just look at her. C'mon.

Ben Roethlisberger 9:10 PM July 23rd

Peephole-Gate Update: Erin Andrews Responds to Columnist Christine Brennan

Tweet Of The Day

Playing to the frat house? I was videotaped without my consent in a hotel room. Watch out Christine Brennan - I'm coming after you with my curling iron!

Erin Andrews 10:52 PM July 22nd

Ben Roethlisberger Asaulted This Woman Too...Even Though ESPN Won't Report It

Tweet Of The Day

I ASSaulted this fan too, however, I'm pretty sure she enjoyed the back door lovin'. Hopefully ESPN won't report this story either.

Ben Roethlisberger 10:04 AM Twitterberry

Peep Inside The Hole Of Erin Andrews

Tweet Of The Day

Now Tim Tebow isn't the only one who has peeped into my hole. Thanks to that video there are a couple million other guys too.

Erin Andrews 11:56 AM July 18th

Sarkozy Says He Likes Big Butts

What can I say? Sir Mix-A-Lot and I like what we like. The girl had a very nice derriere and I took a few seconds to admire it.

Nicolas Sarkozy July 10th 6:16 PM

Sarah Is Lookin' Forward To Life After Politics

The heck with all this partisan politics stuff. I'm goin' fishin' & huntin'!!

Sarah Palin 11:20 PM July 7th

Sarah Palin To Host Talk Show? You Betcha

I have a higher calling in life and have decided to become a daytime talk show host. Look out Oprah, I'm comin' after ya.

Former Governor Sarah Palin 12:31 AM July 5th

Simon Cowell Needs To Make A Lot More Money

$36 million a year for "American Idol" is OK, but I really need to make at least $100 million so I can afford to feed my family.

Simon Cowell 12:42 PM June 30th from Twitterberry

Jon & Kate Are Irate

Michael Jackson's death was a very sad story, but now nobody is talking about us anymore. It's just not fair!

Jon & Kate 4:44 PM June 27th

Michael Cera Is Not Funny

A dead man has about as much range as I do as an actor. Maybe I'm just not that funny. "Year One" is bombing and I must be the reason.

Michael Cera 7:00 PM June 23rd

Fathers Day Is Very Busy For Evander Holyfield

Shawn Kemp is on Easy Street. Since I have 11 kids with 9 different women I'm simply exhausted on Fathers Day. Can't Keep all my kids straight.

Evander Holyfield 9:09 June 21st

Hillary Clinton's Face Just Before Falling & Fracturing Her Elbow

I was just on my way into the White House & tripped over a jump rope. I'm really not very happy with Sasha and Malia right now.

Hillary Clinton 10:22 PM June 17th

The Latest From Professional Football Player & Waffler Brett Favre

I know 90% of all sports fans think I'm a publicity whore, but I don't care. I'm going to milk this as long as I possibly can.

Brett Favre 12:06 AM June 16th

Is Will Ferrell's Act Wearing Thin?

"Land Of The Lost" made how much this past weekend? Hmmmm...maybe I need to come up with a new act.

Will Ferrell 12:22 PM June 15th

Shaq Headed To Cleveland To Play With LeBron?

First I was the Big Aristotle, then the Big Cactus, and soon I could become The Big Mistake On The Lake.

Shaquille O'Neal 9:21 AM June 14th

Stan Van Gundy Rates His Performance In Game 4

Up 3 points with less than 10 seconds to go...maybe we should have fouled Fisher. I'm an idiot. What else can I say?

Stan Van Gundy 5:51 PM June 12th

Sarah Palin Is Fightin' Mad

You are a big meanie, David Letterman. Stop pickin' on me and my family.

Governor Sarah Palin 4:10 PM June 11th

Adam Lambert Is Gay: In Other News Grass Is Green

I know all my fans are shocked because there is no way to tell based on the sound of my voice and the way I dress & look.

Adam Lambert 8:04 AM June 10th

Kobe Bryant Relieved That Lakers Lead Series 2-0

At the end I just fuck it, I'm going 1 on 4. Hedo blocked it clean & Alexander almost made us pay with less than a second to go. A win is a win though.

Kobe Bryant 12:05 AM June 8th

La Russa Settles Suit With Twitter Over Fake Account

Tweet Of The Day

I won my lawsuit against Twitter! Disneyland? Hell no. I'm going to party with Scott Skiles...the only man in the world who smiles less than me

Tony La Russa 5:15 AM June 6th

Tony La Russa had been in the process of suing Twitter because a faux account "damaged his reputation and caused emotional distress." However, late yesterday afternoon the suit was settled with Twitter agreeing to pay La Russa's court costs and making a donation to his animal rescue foundation. I guess all's well that ends well. Here is a link about the suit and another one about the settlement.

Warren Sapp Is An Intellectual Despite Evidence To The Contrary

I may act like a clown sometimes, but I'm actually a pretty bright guy. In fact, I may be the only hope for peace in the Middle East.

Warren Sapp 9:29 AM May 31st

Fake Twitterers: Diddy Will Lock You Out

Here is the message that greeted me on twitter.com/iamdiddy as I tried to check Diddy's latest tweets on two of my computers earlier today:

This person has protected their updates.


Yes, it appears as though two of my IP Addresses have been banished/banned. Diddy will not permit me to read his tweets anymore and I've been locked out. It's a good thing I have a 3rd computer and later tonight I'll check on the status of that IP Address. I'll keep you posted...

Diddy Now Has 1 Million Twitter Followers

LET'S GO!!!!!!!! LOCK IN!!!!!!! Here we go! Let's go for 2 Million. Let's Go!!!!!!

Diddy 8:13 AM May 27th from Twitterberry

Kobe Bryant Has A Message For LeBron James

LeBron who? I'm still the top dog in this league. People call him King James? Shit, I'm still the King of the NBA.

Kobe Bryant 6:02 PM May 24th

King James Leads Cavs To Dramatic Win

Never a doubt baby...never a doubt. Even with one second left I knew the shot was going in and we were going to win!

LeBron James 8:10 AM May 23rd

Leaf Indicted On Burglary & Drug Charges

The 16 stands for how many million dollars Alex Spanos paid me for sucking. The Colts made a good decision picking Peyton 1st.

Ryan Leaf 4:45 PM May 22nd

Ricky Rubio Tells Memphis & Oklahoma City To F@ck Off

Tweet Of The Day

Donde son Memphis y Oklahoma City? There's no way in hell I'm playing in either of those ciudads!

Ricky Rubio 12:23 PM May 21st

Blake Griffin Is Headed To The Clippers

Tweet Of The Day

I don't mind playing for the Clippers, but can a new coach be hired? Mike Dunleavy doesn't seem to know what he's doing.

Blake Griffin 12:06 AM May 20th

Pelosi Solidifes Position As Most Despicable

Tweet Of The Day

Damn the facts, I'm sticking to my story. By the way, did you know I am the 3rd most powerful person in the country?

Nancy Pelosi 12:05 AM May 19th

Chucky...er...Jon Gruden Joins MNF Booth

Tweet Of The Day

I am really excited about joining Mike & Jaws in the booth this season. I hope they don't mind all the f-bombs that I'll be dropping.

John Gruden 8:45 AM May 18th

Last Minute Instructions From Phil Jackson

OK Kobe, just do whatever it takes to get us a victory. If you have to shoot 35 times so be it.

Phil Jackson 12:29 PM May 16th

Name That Diddy

Tweet/Countertweet

Puff Daddy, Puff, P Diddy, Diddy...what should I call myself next? How about just D?

Diddy 12:06 AM May 15th

Now here is a tweet from Diddy's Twitter account...http://twitter.com/iamdiddy

Did I tell yall I love jello?????11:38 PM May 12th from TwitterBerry

Kenyon Martin Has A Message For Kobe Bryant

Tweet Of The Day

Sorry Kobe, it's not happening for you this year. We're going to kiss you goodbye. The Nuggets are going to the Finals!

Kenyon Martin 8:57 AM May 15th

Drew Rosenhaus Is The Best...Just Ask Him

Tweet/Countertweet

I am the best sports agent alive today. Terrell Owens is nothing without me. Absolutely nothing.

Drew Rosenhaus 12:09 AM May 14th

Now here is an actual tweet from the Twitter account of Drew Rosenhaus at http://twitter.com/RosenhausSports:

Saw Star Trek with Jared Gaither of the Ravens. At 6"9 he is the tallest player in the NFL. I felt bad for the people sitting behind him.

Drew Rosenhaus 11 Hours Ago

Kanye West Is No Diddy: Isn't A Fan Of Twitter

Tweet Of The Day

Diddy can tweet all he wants. I DON'T LIKE TWITTER & I'M PUTTING IT IN CAPS. BTW, I might have some anger management issues.

Kanye West 8:08 AM May 13th



Here is Mr. West's entire anti-Twitter blog rant...


“DON’T HAVE A F****** TWITTER… WHY WOULD I USE TWITTER??? I ONLY BLOG 5 PERCENT OF WHAT I’M UP TO IN THE FIRST PLACE. I’M ACTUALLY SLOW DELIVERING CONTENT BECAUSE I’M TOO BUSY ACTUALLY BUSY BEING CREATIVE MOST OF THE TIME AND IF I’M NOT AND I’M JUST LAYING ON A BEACH I WOULDN’T TELL THE WORLD. EVERYTHING THAT TWITTER OFFERS I NEED LESS OF. THE PEOPLE AT TWITTER KNOW I DON’T HAVE A F****** TWITTER SO FOR THEM TO ALLOW SOMEONE TO POSE AS ME AND ACCUMULATE OVER A MILLION NAMES IS IRRESPONSIBLE AND DECEITFUL TO THERE FAITHFUL USERS. REPEAT… THE HEADS OF TWITTER KNEW I DIDN’T HAVE A TWITTER AND THEY HAVE TO KNOW WHICH ACCOUNTS HAVE HIGH ACTIVITY ON THEM. IT’S A F****** FARCE AND IT MAKES ME QUESTION WHAT OTHER SO CALLED CELEBRITY TWITTERS ARE ACTUALLY REAL OR FAKE. HEY TWITTER, TAKE THE SO CALLED KANYE WEST TWITTER DOWN NOW …. WHY? … BECAUSE MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS LOUD!!!!!!!!!”

Star Trek Looks Like A Very Entertaining Movie

Tweet Of The Day

I tried to put together a cast to appeal to the non-paste eating, Dungeons & Dragons playing and pocket protector wearing crowd.

J.J. Abrams 12:06 AM May 12th

The Mouth That Roared: Mark Cuban

Tweet Of The Day

Every Denver Nuggets player is a thug. Their mothers are too. Especially Kenyon Martin's mother. She's Queen of the Thugs.

Mark Cuban 12:53 PM May 11th

Jonathan Rhys Myers Talks About The Tudors

Tweet Of The Day

I usually fall asleep while watching the show. However, a lot of people seem to like it for some reason.

Jonathan Rhys Myers 6:39 AM May 10th

Za Za To Inherit $100 Million...If He Marries

As soon as I tie the knot there is $100,000,000 coming my way! Suddenly I just got a lot more attractive.

Za Za Pachulia 11:22 AM May 9th

Brett The Waffler Weighs In

Tweet Of The Day

I'm going to wait until Vikings mini-camp ends & the Manny story dies down. I have to be the top story at all times.

Brett Favre 1:05 PM May 8th

They Got Me. Estoy Atornillado.

Tweet Of The Day

Lo siento mucho. Estoy jodido. I'm busted. See you in 50 games.

Manny Ramirez 2:24 PM May 7th

Favre To Meet With Brad Childress Tonight?

We'll be talking about hunting. I'm retired. I do have the itch to play again though. Getting revenge against GB would be nice.

Brett Favre 11:36 AM May 6th

Favre Is Destined To Play For The Vikings

I don't care about my age. I'm still as good as Brady & Manning. I know I can take Minnesota to the Super Bowl.

Brett Favre 5:01 AM May 6th

That Can't Be Kelly, Can It?

Tweet Of The Day

I wonder if anyone knows that I was in "Top Gun" and "Witness"

Kelly McGillis 11:50 AM May 5th

Jackman Can't Believe Wolverine Is A Blockbuster

Tweet Of The Day

Really? Are you serious? You're kidding, right? I guess I have 87 million reasons to smile!

Hugh Jackman 12:06 PM May 4th

The Birdman Has Taken Flight

Tweet Of The Day - Honorable Mention

Bring on the Lakers. We're going to take them down!

Chris Andersen 5:58 AM May 4th